PLAY
Allowing baby to play uninterrupted is extremely important in their development. We have a tendency to constantly interfere with a baby’s play, “assisting” them to reach their goals. This is actually detrimental to a child’s development, specifically their self-esteem. To reach their goals alone, with their own hard work, even when frustrated, allows them to feel capable and successful from their first moments at play.
Quietly allowing the space for baby to explore their environment is the kindest interaction we can offer. There is simply no need to interfere due to your own desires and perspective. Allow baby to dictate his/her own path. Remember they are capable.
When the urge to interfere arises, put yourself in baby’s booties and imagine how you would feel if your intentions were overridden by your caregiver. You would feel helpless and your capability insulted. You would feel unheard and unseen. You would lose a sense of self and accomplishment. Your self-esteem would plummet.
On the other hand, imagine if you were left to accomplish your intention. You try so hard with everything you’ve got, to reach your goal. You fail and you continue to try harder next time. Again you fail, but you persist, determined to reach your goal. Finally with a last effort you obtain your intention and your whole body reacts with glee. You celebrate your success. Your caregiver acknowledges your success gently, celebrating quietly with you simply by acknowledging exactly what you did. This is what builds healthy self-esteem.
(We often miss these cues as caregivers. But this is the very language baby is utilizing to communicate with you. Imagine a scenario where baby is trying to communicate, but the caregiver isn’t attuned, bonded, connected to that baby? Imagine how much love is missed in every opportunity? = Trauma in the infant’s body).
DIAPER CHANGE
This is not a time for tears, wrestling, enforcing and fighting!
This is bonding time. This is when we must intercede and change a soiled diaper. And we do so with gentle, unhurried, kind motions and intention. (This is your time to shine!)
Imagine this first…
In baby’s booties, you are swooped her up, out of a quiet contented act of play, your head falling back because your neck muscles have yet to develop. Your arms and hands shudder from the shock of sudden movement. You are placed on your back, head falling first, and hitting the cold pad on a hard surface. Your clothes are quickly removed, exposing your flesh to the cold air. Cold hands rip the damp and sticky paper panties from your body, and a cold, wet wipe slaps at your skin, you shiver. The wipe is rubbed over your bottom, and poked all around your bottom, you are very sensitive here and it stings. A new cold wipe stings because you have sores from a little rash. You start to cry, but it only makes the caregiver wiping you wipe faster and they seem harried and impatient. They put cold cream all over your genitals which stings even more, and you scream. They shower you with a toxic, chalky powder, that feels cakey, and quickly wrap another paper diaper around you, pressing the tabs closed hard. They shove your legs into your clothes, while you kick in protest of their protest, and they seem irritated. They press the clothing closed on your belly and quickly lift you, without warning, your head falling back suddenly again.
A Rethink Baby diaper is changed the following way:
Come close to baby and say, something about your intentions, for example; “I’m going to take you to change your diaper now.”
Then place the palm of your hand on his/her belly gently. Baby will relax his/her body, and only then slide your hands slowly under baby, one hand supporting his/her head, and the other lifting his/her back so that the front of baby’s body is up against you.
Once at the changing table, let him/her know that you’re about to lay his/her body down. Then his/her body will relax further and slowly, so his/her head doesn’t take its own weight, lay baby down.
“Now I am going to take off your onesie.” And slowly waiting for him/her to move his/her arms away from the snaps along the front of her outfit. With each snap you might count, then. “Now I’m going to remove your little arms from inside”, and do so slowly, very gently, kindly. “Now your little legs”, and no matter his/her kicks, work with baby, not against baby. “Now I am going to take off the wet diaper, it might feel cool on your skin when I do.”
Removing the damp diaper, always keeping one hand on his/her belly, reach for the wipes. “Now to clean you up a little, this might be cool on your body too.” Slowly, carefully wipe around baby’s genitals. “I am cleaning your bottom, between your little cheeks, and all around.”
“And now, I’ll put a little cream on your skin to keep you from getting sore or chapped…” rubbing the cream on gently, acknowledging as I go. “Softly taking care of your skin.” Then with the clean diaper, “I’m going to lift your bottom, and slide the fresh cloth beneath you.” “There, now I’ll close up the diaper around you, nice and warm and dry.” “And now I’ll put on your onesie, and then you can play some more…”
By allowing yourself the appropriate time to connect, to work together, you are not harming baby’s body. Not hurting, rushing, not harsh and distracted, holding baby down, making him/her cry, being embarrassed by the anatomy, smearing cold, abrasive sensations on him/her, penalizing baby.
(Generally disrespecting baby = trauma in the infant body). (And in yours).
