We are so very relieved to hold our baby and know that she is whole, intact and healthy, but sometimes, this is not the case. Sometimes it is obvious from birth that there are defects or abnormalities, and sometimes developmental deficiencies occur months down the road.

For a mother this is the most terrifying time. The unknown and the guilt can be overwhelming. Just when Baby needs us most to have all our faculties to determine treatments and surgeries we are inconsolable and utterly devastated. Doctors suddenly become our Gods and we depend on their expertise to guide us along this road less traveled.

At this time, unless there is an immediate expediency, it is a good practice to slow down. As is the Rethink Baby way, lessen the pace of your thinking, your doing, your being. Pace yourself carefully. It is at this time that you must receive the support of your village, of your community, friends and family. It is crucial that you take full advantage of the support to buoy you up, allow you to rest and maintain your own health so that you can make sound choices for Baby.

If funds need to be raised to help pay for medical bills, allocate a tech savvy support group member to set up a funding website. Have another friend or neighbor take photos of your family for the site, and yet another write pertinent facts to inform potential donors of the situation. There is no need to take this project on as Baby’s mother, when you have more than enough to be dealing with focusing on the needs of your newborn.

Whatever the needs required of you – allocate. You might even make a chart to organize trips to the hospital, medicinal administration, child care for siblings, etc. etc. Organize the seeming chaos into something you can manage, utilizing those that care for you and your new baby. Slow down.

Your self care will be imperative during this initial adjustment to meet your baby’s needs. You will want to research the best possible medical direction and plan ahead, making significant choices and taking responsibility for your little human’s wellbeing. All your resources will be directed toward baby. Your relationships will be tried and tested, as will your patience and health. Know that your self-sacrifice will pay off as you grow adjusted to your new life situation and so too will Baby.

Look to your spiritual world to sustain you as well as your village. Whatever your practice, find peace and strength in the knowing that your baby chose you to be her mother, no one but you.