by Gabrielle Anwar
It is incredibly frightening to know that your little human is coming early. There are so many questions, fears, concerns that can cause either direct panic or total numbness when faced with early delivery or c-section.
Once you are in the safety of the prenatal unit, you should feel rest assured that the experts have your back, your uterus and your baby as their priority.
Having spent months nurturing an environment where Baby can have the optimal beginning, having an early departure is very disconcerting for both you and Baby. He will be in the best hands with the best medical care and monitoring, but you may be feeling tremendously overwhelmed both physically, emotionally and spiritually.
If you are able, spend as much time touching and speaking, singing, humming to your preemie. Do your best to work with the doctor and nursing staff to schedule one on one time, or along with your partner to be with Baby as best as the medical situation allows. But also be with yourself and your healing body, acknowledge that this wasn’t the plan, but that you have a new normal to adjust to as best you can.
There’s another Hungarian originated practice (like Pikler®) called Calatonia which reduces trauma in the body at the area of loss. Used mostly with amputees as a holistic, somatic psychology for healing, it can, with some invention be applied to the sudden loss of a short-term pregnancy.
It is a simple technique that requires a meditative sensibility to feel the loss as part of yourself again so that you may grieve with your own timing not that of the OBGYN.
Whether you employ Calatonia or another holistic practice to find your way, a preterm baby counts as a loss, before your body was prepared to bring him forth with you at the helm. Take a moment to acknowledge this within before you bring Baby home to feel more whole and confident as a new mother.
