We tend to regress back to early childhood when our parents are around, or witness our partners do the same before the in-laws. And sometimes, it’s good to feel taken care of by a parent, being nurtured is a wonderful feeling.

With Baby there comes a new dynamic, however, and you are the parent now. This is a major shift in the relationship between all parties, and rarely recognized or acknowledged. Your own parents need to learn to respect you as Mama now, and follow your lead. And your in-laws must do the same.

This can be a tricky time establishing the new family roles, and it’s easy to let your relationship with your partner suffer. It is helpful to discuss this before the drama unfolds, asking for support is always a good strategy. Baby Daddy (or female partner) is not just a son (or daughter) anymore. He is a father, and must truly embody that role within your own little family, which is in fact separate from that of the extended family.

There is a rite of passage that naturally occurs when you become a parent. The hierarchy, though still remains with your elders has a new dimension – you. And your partner. The baton has been handed to you both. Now major decisions about the very life of your newborn are yours and yours alone. Advice is essential, their wisdom often unsurpassed, but ultimately you are the Gatekeeper.

Define your roles early on. Open conversations about this beautiful phenomenon. Then you can relax and watch the wonderful relationship unfold between your baby and her grandparents. Relish their time together, document and appreciate the unique love they share.

Find gratitude for their generosity, even if it isn’t perfect for you. Relinquish judgement and lean toward their methodology, and maybe you will meet somewhere in the middle.