This worked beautifully for my two youngest; enduring best friends and greatest advocates, the Pikler® Approach was an integral element to the deep respect and love they have for one another. In fact I have never witnessed a brother and sister share more affection and care between them. I can’t recall a disagreement between them that lasted more than a few moments before they reconciled without adult intervention. The only words we as parents ever needed during their few trying moments were, “Is that loving?” And more often than not, we were encouraging with, “Now, that’s love!” as this was their more usual demeaner.

To this day, they proudly demonstrate their unity within the home, in public, around their peers, with genuine and profound love they feel for each other. There has never been the typical need for parental direction towards sharing, creating boundaries, practicing kindness. Left to their own gentle devices all the stages of emotional relationship development unfolded naturally, with phenomenal results.

It’s terribly upsetting to watch siblings who haven’t had the Pikler® advantage, attempt to destroy each other, physically, emotionally, mentally. Their rivalry is unparalleled and utterly disturbing. This should not be considered “the norm”, it is completely unavoidable with a simple practice.

If bad behavior is modelled by the parents, then that is precisely how children will interact with each other. If the parents are kind with one another, then that is how the children will interact. It really is that simple, unless there are underlying developmental issues with your son or daughter.

Take a look at your self respect, and the respect you demonstrate to your partner. Are you kind to each other, do you express love between each other? Are you thoughtful, engaged and present?

If the household is riddled with hurt, disrespect, and anger then those traits will be infused in the character of your child. Sibling relationships will reflect discord and if you’re paying attention you will see your dysfunction perfectly reflected in your children.

We all make mistakes, however, and those can be easily remedied by acknowledging our faux pas to our children with age appropriate transparency, and apology, promising to work on flaws in the future, and committing to that promise.

There is never a good enough reason to intimidate; physically, emotionally, or mentally lash out at a child. As the adult we must remain calm and forgiving, even in the most frustrating of circumstances.

As the promises during a wedding ceremony, we might promise to never intentionally harm our children, long before they are born.